An Excerpt From Rigging Lab Academy's The Cornerstone
The way people manage the R (Response) is life. When we understand and implement this equation, we allow structure in our life. It is a discipline, but the framework of our response to events forms the rest of our days. People want to be intentional, but most people do not have the guidelines to make massive changes over time.
Mediocre habits lead to average decisions, and this affects those around us. Therefore decision making and planning are most assuredly a mindset.
There Two Avenues of the R factor.
ERO structures how the world works and if very accurate in doing this. We can not control the events of life. They ebb and flow, all day and every day. And no one is exempt from the ramifications of the events of life.
What happens if we take everything we do to the end of the spectrum? We can do all the right things and yet never control a single event, so it is a “belief system” – no one can control events, only influence them (at best). So if you are a control freak, this belief system will be horrifying to overcome. So before we believe, we must focus on what is “manageable.” Some things we can work with and influence and other things we simply can not manage at all. So there is a decision to be made.
Do I control this? Is it in my power to “do that”? Is there any way I can change the event? Does it matter? Can I influence it? – If any of this is a “no,” then walk away. If “yes,” then you have another decision to make because there is an interface or interaction that is now in front of you.
So if something doesn’t matter and you can influence it, then walk away. If it does matter and you can’t influence it, then walk away. If it does matter and you can influence it, now you are on to something with some weight and value, and this weight or value must now be determined before you go any further.
We shouldn’t waste energy on changing the event, but we can and should understand the event. This is the first step in making appropriate responses to a given event. When understanding takes place, outcomes become more clearly defined. Why? Because what we don’t understand, we can’t influence and what we can not influence; we have neither power nor authority in it. Whether the event is a situation or a person, we are accountable for understanding the environment or atmosphere of the E.
Don’t get furious, get curious. If we can get this into our belief system and habits, our world and those around us will be undoubtedly be influenced for the better. Leadership responsibly requires curiosity.
Acceptance vs. Non-acceptance
This isn’t about accepting outcomes. Understanding and being in the midst of something or removing oneself from the outcome is undoubtedly a vast topic, and now is not the appropriate time to take this on. Only just a starting point – we are not the events of our life. We are not our circumstances. However, if there is a repetitive or patterned outcome that tends to be very harmful, then standing back and understanding the outcome (which is an event itself) is critical.
So just as events can not be controlled, neither can outcomes be fully controlled. Why? Because the response is a belief and a management process that can at best influence, but never control. If you could control your outcomes, what would your life look like? The answer to that question is the serving of life that is before you. You can not control outcomes because of the constraints found within the events of our life.
Constraints limit the Event so constraints also limit the Outcome. We can only choose how we respond, so this is where we need to be spending our time. Over time we’ll see a very structured pattern as to how our responses influence the outcomes through and around us. These outcomes are the events of others as well. Do you want to do a “Great Work”? Influence through your Response.
We are responsible for our attitude, behavior, our choices. We don’t want our lives governed by events nor outcomes. This framework of thought does not mesh with the popular culture of today. Victimhood is a severe disease within our society today, and the mindset of victimhood is that there is no responsibility to someone else. Things are always someone else’s fault. Inside our “humanness,” we know we are responsible to “us,” but taking account of (for example) our character flaws means a massive step into the dangerous realm of responsibility to (not for) others, and this is not a step our culture is willing to take.
We may not deserve to get what is now an event within our lives, but we are responsible and accountable to respond correctly to the event, which leads to a better outcome. Now oddly, this outcome may only benefit others, and only a person of high moral character will choose to help others before themselves. Many of us don’t like this, but it is correct; however, if we can get victory over this, there is liberty in areas that are beyond us.
We are always responsible for the response belief within us. We can never justify the ebbs and flows of our own life on others. Constraints make our lives very sharp. Our responses are most critical when the events are the most difficult. When events are hard, responses are hard, but choices are responses, including the assumption of no options. Options are always present. Better said, Outcomes are earned based on the quality of our response.
Mediocre responses lead to average outcomes. Ultimately outcomes speak loudly, and this is always linked back to the decision and belief system of our response. Delayed outcomes are even more crucial. Vision, perseverance, grit, and values all play a role in “big picture” outcomes. Multi-year outcomes require an understanding of what the cost is. Adjustments must be made accordingly – What is needed, and will it get walked out? What are the expected outcomes and the work necessary to get them? A simple physics equation…. E+R=O. We and our responses will be events and outcomes for someone else. Remember this. We are responsible to and for our brothers and sisters, and this is simply not a happy thought for many people or organizations.
People are granted the right to respond appropriately. We have no rights to the events nor the outcome. Clarity and Courage are two aspects of life that make world-changing outcomes more likely to happen. Life is made up of only three things – Events, Responses, and Outcomes. Like gravity, we don’t have a choice as to whether the force of attraction between two bodies exists. Nor can I barter of the gravitational constant or the mass of two objects and the distance between them.
So in summing things up, we can make matters worse, but more than likely, we should always make things better. It has been said that we are “a lamp to their feet and a light to their path,” and it assumes a critical measurement: the lumens of our lamp and light. Our ability to guide and lead is in direct proportions to the power, intensity, and longevity of our energy, supplying our lamps and light. So respond accordingly to achieve the outcome desired, and that outcome is another’s event.
Peace on your Days